“Forgive and forget. That’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness old scores never settle. Old wounds never heal, and the most we can hope for is that someday we’ll be lucky enough to forget” –Grey’s Anatomy
Is this the best I can hope for? That my wounds will never heal and the way to manage them is time? Time waits for no man. When Jordan left me in December, the only thing I needed was for time to stand still so I could mourn appropriately but the world moved at it’s usual pace day in and day out. I lost months mourning and going through the grieving process. I still notice his absence, but a little less each day. This is the first time I have spoke in this way about my failed relationship, but I feel publicly acknowledging the absence of him here beside me is personal growth. When the relationship ended, the fight took ten minutes and we became another statistic of long distance relationships.
Looking back I completely see the truth of this statement “the most we can hope for is that someday we’ll be lucky enough to forget”. The pain from the ending of my past relationship was intense until it wasn’t, until the passing of time slowly numbed the areas affected.
I still believe Jordan is almost perfect, although I have been asked to find and focus on his flaws as a way to move forward. Maybe he is, we just don’t believe he is perfect for me. I finally agree somewhat; I am excited for what lies ahead finally instead of constantly looking behind me. I believe there is someone for me who will truly accept and love me. I can’t forgive him for what was said the night we broke up, but the passing of time gives me hope I will indeed eventually forget.