A Touch of Envy

There is a young woman I have never even met who simply exudes coolness. The kind that makes everyone wants to be her, or sleep with her simply because of the sureness of herself. She is more artistic than I am in every category: water painting, calligraphy, sculpting, and photography. I find myself looking up to her in awe and envy yet wanting to be her friend because she’s genuinely nice. I feel thirteen years old all over again. I feel pains of jealousy. I know without a doubt I am not alone or most girls would only have kind thoughts and words to each other and about one other so, psychologically, what are we feeling?

Therapists often regard this deadly sin as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem. And it’s true that people who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others, but it actually evolved from more positive reasons. Throughout our primordial past it discouraged desertion by a mate, bolstering the family unit and enabling the survival of the young. Catching someone flirting with your beloved can spark the kind of lust and romance that reignites a relationship.

Unfortunately jealously can sometimes go awry, they become self-consumed, undermining their self-esteem and into someone else’s arms. Unfortunately, jealousy is the leading cause of spousal homicide worldwide.

I am simply insecure and envy her life, my job position, and yes I wish I was as talented as this wonderful woman’s hands with a paint brush. But psychologically, I understand better what I am feeling when I experience jealousy and will always keep this in mind.

Understanding Jealousy: Ph.D., H. F. (n.d.). Understanding Jealousy. . Retrieved May 12, 2014,

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