How much is too much to give? Too much to take? Too much to accept? My boyfriend indulges in a beverage or two, or twelve, frequently. I recently moved in and realized just how bad it is. I’m giving and giving my patience and accepting this but how much until the ultimatum is introduced and he’s taken all you have?


Paint Color Trends of 2015


Paint colors have been ever changing. Colors come and go but maybe its important to first know how to paint your walls in the first place. Most people put a little paint on their roller and stick it on the wall, usually the middle. They begin rolling. What they don’t understand is they start rolling in the middle of the wall and the top half and the bottom half are neglected to receive any paint. Then they load their roller and begin the process in the middle of the wall again. It’s important to start with the basics. Load your roller with paint. Get it almost dripping. Get on a ladder if you need too and start in the upper right hand corer of a wall in your room. Begin as close tot he trim as you can manage and roll down and then back up in a slightly sideways motion until you have exhausted the paint roller of paint. Then take your brush and edge trim while it is still wet o you don’t have any silly lines. Repeat this process in squares throughout your room, moving down and then to the side in this rhythm.

Take this new knowledge and apply it to this seasons bright and lovely colors. They are all about vibrancy and life, Vibrant pink, turquoise, yellow, coral, and lime green take center stage during this new trend. Capitalize it and add some life to your house. Grey is also a focus, my favorite color which is a pleasant surprise among all of the brightness. It balances them out nicely and would add an excellent accent wall. So whatever color you choose, you cant go wrong this season with the seasons trends!

Forgive and Forget

“Forgive and forget. That’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness old scores never settle. Old wounds never heal, and the most we can hope for is that someday we’ll be lucky enough to forget” –Grey’s Anatomy

Is this the best I can hope for? That my wounds will never heal and the way to manage them is time? Time waits for no man. When Jordan left me in December, the only thing I needed was for time to stand still so I could mourn appropriately but the world moved at it’s usual pace day in and day out. I lost months mourning and going through the grieving process. I still notice his absence, but a little less each day. This is the first time I have spoke in this way about my failed relationship, but I feel publicly acknowledging the absence of him here beside me is personal growth. When the relationship ended, the fight took ten minutes and we became another statistic of long distance relationships.
Looking back I completely see the truth of this statement “the most we can hope for is that someday we’ll be lucky enough to forget”. The pain from the ending of my past relationship was intense until it wasn’t, until the passing of time slowly numbed the areas affected.
I still believe Jordan is almost perfect, although I have been asked to find and focus on his flaws as a way to move forward. Maybe he is, we just don’t believe he is perfect for me. I finally agree somewhat; I am excited for what lies ahead finally instead of constantly looking behind me. I believe there is someone for me who will truly accept and love me. I can’t forgive him for what was said the night we broke up, but the passing of time gives me hope I will indeed eventually forget.

Falsie Eyelashes Without Selling Your Soul

Everyone wants the falsie look for their lashes. Sephora sells a primer that retails around $25 which is suppose to help your lashes but for $5-$9 you can get the same or better effect if you just know how to apply the mascaa correctly. I learned the trait myself during college cheerleading and am passing it on.

Know Your Budget

Make sure you know your budget before you go mascara shopping. Retail stores like Sephora and Ulta will press you to purchase the more expensive (and better) mascara. I prefer a cheap base ( and a different brand completely) and an expensive top coat, or main layer. The brushes are extremely important. Look at the brushes, talk to the women working in Ulta or Sephora about their brushes and which brush comes in the mascara you are looking at. It will truly make the difference with your mascara.

Keep in mind mascara’s come in many colors now! They offer colors like neon blue and pink so if you want to keep up with the fashion trends there is a mascara for you!

Try Mascara’s on separately before combining them first!

Once you’ve selected, its important to try them out separately to see how each function on your eye, one may offer extreme length and need to go on first to avoid clumping while the other more expensive brand simply glides over the lengthening mascara to give you the volume you want for the false lash look you’re going for. Sampling them separately will clue you in.



Complete all makeup before applying mascara

Once you know their order it is important to get the rest of your eye makeup completed first! That includes all eye shadow and eyeliner. If you choose to curl, do it before you put the mascara on and count to ten before releasing it for a nice permanent curl. Be careful not to squeeze too tight (it results in a bend in the eyelash and not a curl)! And begin the process! I personally apply around 2-3 coats of “Volumptuous Volume Ulta mascara” and then finish with several coats of “BAD gal lash” all in black. This process can be repeated, but carefully to avoid clumping.


Best of Luck with your false look!





I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for all the things I have done.

I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am;
I don’t want to dress up myself as a sham.

I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know
That I’m bluster and bluff and empty show.

I can never hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.


If I Had Known

                                        If I Had Known                                    

If I had known what trouble you were bearing;
What grief’s were in the silence of your face;
I would have spent more gentle, and more caring,
And tried to give you gladness for a space.
I would have brought more warmth into the place,
If I had known.

If I had known what thoughts despairing drew you;
(Why do we never try to understand?)
I would have lent a little friendship to you.
And slipped my hand within your hand,
And made your stay more pleasant in the land
If I had known.

                                                            Mary Carolyn Davies.

A Touch of Envy

There is a young woman I have never even met who simply exudes coolness. The kind that makes everyone wants to be her, or sleep with her simply because of the sureness of herself. She is more artistic than I am in every category: water painting, calligraphy, sculpting, and photography. I find myself looking up to her in awe and envy yet wanting to be her friend because she’s genuinely nice. I feel thirteen years old all over again. I feel pains of jealousy. I know without a doubt I am not alone or most girls would only have kind thoughts and words to each other and about one other so, psychologically, what are we feeling?

Therapists often regard this deadly sin as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem. And it’s true that people who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others, but it actually evolved from more positive reasons. Throughout our primordial past it discouraged desertion by a mate, bolstering the family unit and enabling the survival of the young. Catching someone flirting with your beloved can spark the kind of lust and romance that reignites a relationship.

Unfortunately jealously can sometimes go awry, they become self-consumed, undermining their self-esteem and into someone else’s arms. Unfortunately, jealousy is the leading cause of spousal homicide worldwide.

I am simply insecure and envy her life, my job position, and yes I wish I was as talented as this wonderful woman’s hands with a paint brush. But psychologically, I understand better what I am feeling when I experience jealousy and will always keep this in mind.

Understanding Jealousy: Ph.D., H. F. (n.d.). Understanding Jealousy. . Retrieved May 12, 2014,

My NIKKOR 50mm Lens

I received a wonderful birthday gift which I won’t be forgetting for quite some time: a AF Nikkor 50mm f/1.8D. Offering natural image rendering and exceptional sharpness, the AF NIKKOR 50mm f/1.8D is a versatile, affordable prime lens. It is extremely convenient to carry and its as versatile as compact. It’s f/1.8 maximum aperture creates a background blue also known as bolkeh, and creates great low-light shooting. It is consistently stunning, both inside and out. The AF NIKKOR 50mm f/1.8D is fast enough for shooting in most lighting situations without a flash—from dusk and dawn to dim indoor lighting. Its aperture control ring allows for manual adjustments during Live View shooting.

The average customer rating is a 4.8/5 and I would easily rank it 5/5. It is simply my favorite lens thus far. Best of luck for every photographer out there whether it is a hobby or for your living!

Nikon USA. (2014, January 1). . Retrieved May 12, 2014, from

Do the KIND Thing

Do the KIND thing. That is what KIND brand recommends. They recommend you do the Kind thing for your body, your taste buds, and the world. As far as premade bars are concerned, the health community has continually recommended KIND bars above all or the only type of premade bar to be consumed at all so I decided to do some research.

While browsing the website and comparing it with my box, they are completely congruent. “We do things differently, and we choose healthy, tasty, convenient, wholesome, economically sustainable, and socially impactful”. “We make simple, all natural products and deliver healthy all natural products and deliver healthy snacks made only from ingredients you can see and pronounce:

The main ingredients are Oats, Quinoa, Millet, Amaranth, and Buckwheat. I must admit the Healthy Grains Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate in particular has a special place in my heart. I am also particularly fond of the granola.

KIND LLC focuses on making the world a little kinder, one act at a time. There is a count on their page, (currently 531,019 acts of kindness) since their mission began. KIND inspires people whether big or small, a letter to a friend or simply taking the time to say thank you. It is doing the kind for your body, your taste buds, and the world.

KIND sells Strong and KIND, Healthy Grains Bars (a personal favorite), Healthy Grains Clusters (including Oats and Honey Clusters with Toasted Coconut), Variety Cubes, and Variety Packs.

I know I sound like a spokesperson for KIND LLC (I’m not), but it you truly get what is advertised. This premade bar is all natural. I can finally read and understand the ingredients on the back and its quite comforting as a consumer.

KIND. (n.d.). . Retrieved , from

Do I Officially Have A Hobby?

book stacks

When my two-year relationship ended a few weeks ago, it became immediately clear what I should do with Jordan’s Christmas money: fulfill my current book list, at my favorite bookstore, while sipping a cappuccino.

Unfortunately I found myself debating the big 3: Is this retail therapy, am I collecting books as my hobby (I dream of a library), or this is a compulsive behavior?

I left with not only the books I had been hoping to get acquainted with, but also with books I never knew I wanted to acquire. We readers need to be honest, every book holds a quick set of friends and framework of relationships you learn and gossip with just until that last page is turned. You lose a friend and you open your next book and meet another. She could be a better companion than the last.

So the question is whether my collection of books is simply the beginning of the library that flourishes during a time of retail therapy or something more. I will spare the suspense; I read for entertainment, and buy for enjoyment. Reading and collecting books is my Hobby, along with Photography. My psychiatrist could not be happier with how I am channeling my energy. So Cheers to the New Year! And my 12+ books to fall in love with in the immediate future!

Social Media is Exhausting

There is a month, day, and psychological disorder for everything society has to offer. In November, it was time for every brilliant mind to write her or her own mediocre novel. Don’t worry if you missed it, another opportunity starts November 1, 2014. Days, weeks, and months are dedicated to the most preposterous reasons but in November, writers all unite for a common cause. It’s the month to write and publish novels, and it is not for me. Writers will tell you; do this one thing for yourself: write one hour a day just for you. I do, but its different, therefore as is my blog.

I enjoy writing with a pen and journal, much like a daily devotion.  I carry my journal with me where me wherever I travel. The wonderful pages this book holds are magical. They truly read like a story of my life with few holes. They post the delicate strokes of your pen on your beautiful stationary purchased for you so you can write something, write anything, this is my hour.

I feel social media is so exhausting. Twitter, tumblr, Instagram, Vine, WordPress, and Pinterest are all websites that build personal branding and they will take your complete waking hours if you focus all hours on keeping them all up to date. I find one slipping and try to salvage and pick up for awhile, I have a strategy but life will not allow it.

Technology has imprisoned us, and we, myself included, as allowed it. Not a person should know when my relationship ended before I was prepared but because of social media everyone found out much much too soon. I’m sure everyone has noticed taking your phone to your yoga, cycling, or going on a run and return to find five missed calls and angry texts. People are intrusive regardless of preference.

The biggest strategy is ton use strategy at all on social media to build your own brand. Trust that your brand will build like wildfire on its own or strategically place itself in different places among tumblr and the grounds within it and pinerest. (We are clearly referring to handmade soaps or a shirt from etsy and a small business on Pinterest)This is simple because marketing ROI in these areas is so hard to turn over. I am seeing results from both. I see an experiment in the future.


I am overqualified for most jobs I need in order to gain enough experience for the jobs I am qualified for as a recent college graduate. Fortunately, my education provided me with an excellent background in marketing, but I don’t have the experience for my knowledge base. I have recently applied almost everywhere, but there is a large problem, I am overqualified or actually under qualified for a position in a specialized department within a store. I know this because of their piss poor responses they give me because, yes, I ask them point blank why they did not hire me.

I went to a job interview at Lowe’s last week and it was quite the experience. I handed the assembly line I experienced my resume and immediately regretted this action. I was granted two interviews and in each interview both failed to even glance at my resume. They fired hypothetical questions at me and know exactly what they want to know, but failed to learn anything about me as a person. I know “through my answers they gained knowledge and insight”, but did they really? I interviewed for a paint department position in which I would assist customers in picking out a paint color that best suits their style, preference, and subconsciously their personality. I understand the psychology of color, marketing techniques used, advanced selling techniques, and contemporary, traditional, and minimalism approaches to architecture and design but was unable to work most of this into the interview because of the rapid-fire questions. I was passed over for someone “better” qualified but I was clearly overqualified for this position, as with the bank teller positions I have applied for. I have been told over the phone and to my face I am overqualified. They have previously made it terribly uncomfortable. And then I was passed over.

When hiring managers are interviewing candidates and label them as overqualified, this is what they are thinking:

1) My salary expectations are likely higher than the role pays, therefore they cannot pay me enough.

2)  I’m too optimistic and I don’t fully understand what the job entails, or I will be quick to prove myself and move up the ladder.

3) They think there is a high probability I will be bored, frustrated, and leave. I have heard this several times. A travel agency told me they did not think I would be challenged enough on a daily basis.

4) There may be a chance I will be more experienced than my manager, and would be uncomfortable taking direction from them.

5)  I will leave as soon as a better opportunity comes around and I’m only applying because I’m desperate (which I am, but I also need experience in my field regardless of my position).

I always address this issue in the cover letter and, when given the opportunity, will address this in the interview. But sometimes it still doesn’t matter because I still do not offer job security. I can only hope that interviews from this point on go better than my last.

Why Employers Don’t Want to Hire Overqualified Candidates (

Will I Allow My Little Girl To Be A Gymnast?

Body image is currently a focal point in the media, but then it always is. The fashion industry is setting standards, yet clearly every designer has yet to follow them and Hollywood will never catch on. Our society seems so concerned with today’s youth, and how they feel about their body, but the generation they are concerned about is the first generation physician’s predict to die before their parents of health complications related to obesity. In my opinion, eating disorders aren’t running rampant. But I stand corrected, (according to a reputable website stated below), they are still on the rise and 10/100 girls suffer from an eating disorder in 2013. What I cannot ignore, however, is that between 16 and 33 percent of children are obese. Eating disorders may be on the rise, but they are clearly the minority.

I was a level nine gymnast in USA gymnastics, training forty hours a week and going to school full time. I started as a level four as did my training hours as a third grader. I am the poster child for an eating disorder: white, affluent, and a perfectionist, and later a three sport athlete. I was later a D1 college cheerleader after I quit gymnastics so instead of improving or seeking therapy, my condition drastically declined. I had an eating disorder for over a decade.

Will I allow my little girl to go through the same thing? People I have conversations with, my boyfriend’s family, my mother, aren’t “aware”, or don’t necessarily acknowledge the obvious. “Don’t ask don’t tell” applies to almost anything you don’t really want to know in my boyfriend’s and my family. Answering this question the way I wanted was very difficult.

I will want a little girl so bad and be heartbroken at the same time if she is. If she does not want to be a gymnast I will be saddened but if I have to make the decision I will be destroyed, for I know I will have to say “yes”. I cannot let my little girl miss out on the life lessons gymnastics taught me. I know they were tough to the point of mental abuse, pushed my body past stress fractures, and I found I had repressed memories in therapy, but I loved it. I did not have a childhood, but I can’t think of what I would have rather done. I found lifelong friends, and learned what a true team was like. We had sleepovers every Friday at someone’s house because of practice on Saturday morning at 8:00 am. I found that if you do something enough times you find muscle memory and perfection, and reward in winning for yourself and your team. How could I take this from my future child should she decide she wants to be like mommy?

But there is the negative aspect of gymnastics. I have terrible arthritis at twenty-four in my fingers, knees, wrist, and toes. I am a perfectionist, and it turns out it isn’t a good thing when you have to have something perfect every time or you are a failure. Oh, and that eating disorder.

I relapse almost constantly. I feel like I have it under control and then I don’t. I have met few gymnasts and even less cheerleaders when being honest did not have a disorder of some kind. When you are required to be thin, your required to be so thin that starving yourself or purging and starving is really the only solution. We all know this. What really made my condition worse was college cheerleading. We would trade what worked and what didn’t around the table or in the car.  We all had our own little disorder.

As a parent you can take two approaches, hit it head on and fight constantly, or ignore it, “believe” your child doesn’t have an appetite and watch if she gets below 85 pounds and threaten to admit her. My parents chose not to fight with me and threaten me when I got too thin. But really, what was the best option? I never would have forgiven my parents for taking me out of either, even knowing what I do now. Which is why, even now, I still am just heartbroken when in ten years if my little girl tells me she wants to do gymnastics, I am probably going to cry, but I am also going to say “yes”.

Teenagers With Eating Disorders (